First Confession

God won’t heal my children. Not when I ask him to anyway.

For more than a decade every time they are sick I ask him to stop them from coughing, or throwing up, or whatever, so they (we) can get some rest. I no sooner get the words out of my mouth when a BIG coughing fit happens. It’s like it (he?) just mocks me. 

I’ve almost quit asking. But I’m a dad and I can’t quit asking for them. But I don’t really believe he’s gonna do it. Hasn’t for the last… ever! Makes me so mad. 

Why won’t He just do this little thing for me?

As a matter of fact, I’m not sure how much I believe in prayer.

I’ve prayed for lots of things dear to me, lots of people dear to me. I don’t think I can point to any single extraordinary answer to any of them. Many of them have turned out the way I’ve prayed, eventually. The way I would expect everyday, ordinary circumstances to work out.

Some more haven’t turned out the way I wanted. People have died, marriages have blown apart, lives have been devastated.

I hear the testimonies of folks all the time, “The Lord answered my prayer!”, “It was a miracle!” We put those folks up front don’t we? I want, just once, for the guy up front to give a testimony like this, “Well, I prayed. Honest I did. Had lots of others joining me in prayer. But it didn’t seem to make any difference. Now I don’t know what to do.”

It’d be nice to hear that from the front. It’d be nice to know I’m not the only one.

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