“Big John” Calvin vs. The Arminian Assassin – “Let’s get ready to ruummmbbbble!”

    Christian Team Sports are all the rage in the God-blogoshpere.

Let’s just get them all in the ring for a Doomsday Cage Match.

We could fill up “The-Arena-of-Your-Choice” with the fan-boys of each and let it spill over into the stands and streets like fan-boys the world over are wont to do.

We’d get to name our own new moves like the…

“Moonsault Double-Reverse-Predestination Foot Stomp”

“Fundamentalist Figure Four-Spiritual-Laws Leglock”

“Purpose Driven(tm) Piledriver”

“Wild at Heart Wishbone”

We could put some of the more marketable matches on pay-per-view like…

“Manly Mark” Driscoll vs. Al “The Mauler” Mohler

John “The Hedonist” Piper vs. “Smilin’ Joel” Osteen

We could do a “Celebrity Death Match” claymation thingy for those in the big squared circle in the sky.

“The New Park Street Pounder” vs. “Angry God” Edwards

But on second thought most of it would probably look more like this-


By the way, if you didn’t already know, this isn’t a post about the “wrestlers”. It’s a post about the fan-boys who take it way over the top.





One response to ““Big John” Calvin vs. The Arminian Assassin – “Let’s get ready to ruummmbbbble!”

  1. that was funny. although, i’d rather hear more about the wrestlers; i try to pick on the reformed / calvinist types as much as possible.

    but you’re right about the fan-boys; it’s almost like they think that, somehow, after hundreds of years, one side is going to come up with something that makes the other side go, ‘you know what? you’re exactly right. how could i have been so stupid – thanks for setting me straight. guess that pretty well kills calvinism/arminianism.’.

    i picked on mohler just yesterday, saying i was surprised he had no quotes in a christine wicker editorial that ran in the local atlanta paper. i said he must have been off writing a sermon called, “i’m elect, you’re screwed”…

    carry on. nice blog.

    mike rucker
    fairburn, georgia, usa

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