Let’s just get them all in the ring for a Doomsday Cage Match.
We could fill up “The-Arena-of-Your-Choice” with the fan-boys of each and let it spill over into the stands and streets like fan-boys the world over are wont to do.
We’d get to name our own new moves like the…
“Moonsault Double-Reverse-Predestination Foot Stomp”
“Fundamentalist Figure Four-Spiritual-Laws Leglock”
“Purpose Driven(tm) Piledriver”
“Wild at Heart Wishbone”
We could put some of the more marketable matches on pay-per-view like…
“Manly Mark” Driscoll vs. Al “The Mauler” Mohler
John “The Hedonist” Piper vs. “Smilin’ Joel” Osteen
We could do a “Celebrity Death Match” claymation thingy for those in the big squared circle in the sky.
“The New Park Street Pounder” vs. “Angry God” Edwards
But on second thought most of it would probably look more like this-
By the way, if you didn’t already know, this isn’t a post about the “wrestlers”. It’s a post about the fan-boys who take it way over the top.